Who should I turn to.

Why am I still killing myself over you? You're not here for me anymore. Why are you still on my mind? Am I on your mind too? Every time I see you just makes it a thousand times worse. And I don't know where to turn next. All I know is that I miss the person I thought I knew best. I don't need to be your everything but I wished you thought of me when I need it most. I wish you actually cared. Hello that was just a random things that i post today. Is just less than 1 month and my mid-year is coming I am not rdy and I still have tons of revision. Band is killing me and giving me lots of stress. Ya i can see that "they" have given up on me. That's means that i cnt go back to my lovely clarinet section and i still need to continue to stay in bass but idw. I would rather they scold me than ignoring me. I just lost 3 frenz which is important to me but it seems that the distance between me and them gone further. Wad should I do to pull each other closer. And who can help me solve my problem? How to let "they" give me another chance and dun give up on me. Everyday without fail I have been thinking how to improve, wad i made them angry and alot of things. I seriously dk how. I would rather they scold me and tell me the reason than keeping quiet. I would always avoid "they". Pls leave a tag and tell me how? really very desperate. wad will happen after SYF.